We have all heard about Nadya Suleman, the mother of the octuplets that this country loves to hate. She is called selfish. She is called insane. She has been getting death threats and action groups are politicizing her story. People are going through her finances and publishing the name of the sperm donor and harassing him. And now Dateline NBC has dubbed her the "most vilified mother in America."
The basis of this hatred towards this woman is the fact that she is no longer married, she can't conceive children naturally--and please do not be silly enough to suggest adoption; married people have problems adopting children, do you really think the system would give her a break?--so she chose in-vitro fertilization. Everyone is so busy basking in the glow of their unearned sense of self-righteousness that they won't even acknowledge that the fact that these children survived is a miracle.
I'm not going to pass judgment on this woman for her decision (and I don't think that anyone else should, either), but there is a gross double standard that is being glossed over. The Duggar family is on its 18th or 19th kid and plans on having more and they get cooed on the Today Show with gifts and even get their own television show. They have a place on their site where people can donate money to them, and that is OK with everyone. The Duggar family gets nothing but praise. They keep having kids because it "makes [them] feel young" and soon as the child starts talking the kid is dumped on one of the older children to be raised in their "buddy system." Everyone is fine with the fact that Bob and Michelle Duggar have a permanent baby shower registry at Wal-Mart or wherever it is that they go. No one feels sorry for those kids or thinks the parents need to be locked up. But this woman "has issues" and everyone is pitying her kids for her "irresponsibility." This woman chooses to have a large family and she is branded as being mentally unstable because she chose not to get married? Her mother condemns her to anyone that will listen because she "wasn't raised to have kids without getting married?" If she were married would that make her more "stable" in their eyes?
She had 14 children. There is no evidence of abuse or neglect, but she is the mother that everyone loves to shake their fingers at. She is the most hated mother in America. She is getting death threats not for running a child prostitution ring, but for giving birth. There are children being neglected at this very moment. There are children being verbally abused and underfed at this very moment. There are mothers and fathers at this very moment in this country right now beating, sexually abusing or selling their children to be sexually abused by paying pedophiles...yet Nadya Suleman is the most vilified mother in America? Instead of spending all this rage on someone whose crime is wanting a large family, why not put that rage where it deserves to be: at the people that have children and are actually abusing them. I think some of those children would love to have some of the indignation thrown at the Suleman family to be applied to their situations.
The only thing that seems to be the big problem with people in regards to this woman is the fact that she is unmarried. No one is asking where the Duggars are getting the money to take care of their kids--they are realtors and the market is horrible. Why is it an issue with this woman and not with them? And why is no one disgusted by the Duggars accepting donations on their website? Is it because their family is "natural" and therefore that double-digit population doesn't count since "natural" parents are less to blame for conceptions?
This woman did not seek out the media, the media sought her out so they could ask belittling rhetorical questions about how irresponsible she is on camera. People only want to see her so they can tell her how much she disgusts them for being a single mother with a large family. They only want to shake their finger at her, evaluate her finances and tell her how selfish and "crazy" she is because she couldn't find a guy like Bob Duggar. Michelle and Bob Duggar are cooed and given gifts but the single mom is a selfish psycho. It's OK because they are married.
Having two ringmasters doesn't make it less of a circus.
1 comment:
Well, I personally think she is nuts, but I think the Duggars are nuts too. And I was appalled by the septuplets' parents as well (I forget their last name), but it was because of the hypocritical rhetoric they were spewing when they were interviewed.
I do think it is wrong that people are giving her such a hard time and getting all up in her business, but I think that anyone who has so many kids that they have to rely on family, community or donation constantly just to be able to function has some psychological problem that they need to deal with.
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